i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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