he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
did you just send me my own nude
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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