Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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