Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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