I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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