you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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