Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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