Can Purell be used as lube?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
