I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
