physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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