The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
