Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
