Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
