so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
