so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
