YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Randomize
