just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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