Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
