the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
