vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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