Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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