Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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