Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
