thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
