Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
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