so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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