Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
