we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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