I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
