So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
