Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
