he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
