so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
