Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
