i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
