the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Randomize
