tell your sister to shave her snatch
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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