You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
