She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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