How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
