doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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