i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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