fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
