I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Houston, we have a blender
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
