therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
