Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
