I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
