Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
