I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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