He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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